Haikus
by BHancock
Summary: On a rainy day, the Strawhats (along with guest stars Law, Momonosuke, and Kinemon) pursue a rather highbrow and intelligent activity.


**Haikus**  
Oneshot

It was raining once again in the New World, and the squall was too strong for anyone to go outside. The sails had been rolled up, the orange trees had been tied down, but there was really nothing anyone could do. Nami said the storm would last about half a day, which meant that everyone, plus three freeloaders, were cooped up in the dining room. Chopper's infirmary was opened too, and inside were Chopper himself and Momonosuke.

"I don't know how to do them," Chopper says sadly, making a pouty face. Momonosuke laughs in return.

"Tis not hard to do, my friend," he replies, once again tearing a sheet of paper in neat strips. "Freehand anything that comes to mind in that, but keep the syllables divided, per line, into 5-7-5."

Chopper tried his best one more time, having failed a bunch before, and let Momo read it when he was done.

_Oh! Cotton Candy_  
_You are very soft and sweet_  
_Just like eating clouds._

"Very well done!" exclaimed Momonosuke, throwing the paper into the air. "This one here always knew you had it in you, de-gozaru."

Chopper and Momo celebrated loudly that they attracted the attention of three other people, namely Luffy, Usopp, and Kinemon.

"I wish to know the activities both of you are undertaking," queried the samurai with the topknot. Usopp nodded and Luffy just bobbled his head up and down, not understanding what Kinemon said. He opted to follow Usopp.

"We're making haikus," answered Chopper, hurriedly securing another strip of paper Momo tore very well.

"What's a haiku? Is that delicious?" drooled Luffy. Usopp bopped him on the head for that remark. "What? I was really asking."

"It's a type of poem, Luffy," said Usopp. "I used to write them for Kaya all the time. No lies, honest!" he added with his hands raised, as Luffy and Chopper both raised their eyebrows at him. "Here, I'll try." With that, Usopp secured some paper and writing material.

_The greatest sniper_  
_Will always hit his target_  
_His name: Sogeking._

"Wooo! That's amazing, Usopp!" clapped Luffy, his mouth forming an "o". Chopper clapped his hooves together so fast it was cute. Kinemon looked at Usopp with newfound respect. Momonosuke was so amazed he didn't realize that he spilled over the ink bottle on Chopper's table. He tried to apologize but Chopper said it was fine, they'd do it on the dining table instead. The motley group agreed to bring over their pet project to dinner, passing the time until Sanji could whip up another feast.

Luffy was given a brush and the last piece of paper to write on. They all waited for him to write one of his own, since it was clear Luffy wasn't the literary type.

"What's that you're doing, bros?" asked Franky, bored enough to consider doing something else besides getting braided by Robin.

"Making haikus," responded Usopp. "Shush Franky, unless you have one of your own."

Franky tutted. "Usopp, I think you forget who you're talking to." Clapping his huge hands and clearing his throat, he started:

_"Flowers are my thing_  
_They shall never be stepped on_  
_As long as I care."_

After saying his piece, Franky stood on the sofa and did his pose. "Super!"

Sanji stopped cooking long enough to remark, "That was great, Franky." Chopper and Kinemon clapped their hands. Momonosuke and Usopp's jaws hit the floor, the former not expecting literary smarts from such a ragtag crew, and Usopp for not expecting something like that out of a pervert.

"Franky, get your feet off the sofa," admonished Robin, slapping his ankles lightly. Franky looked down to see Robin not amused. Brook laughed his trademark laugh, and cleared his throat.

"I might have something to offer you besides my music, yohohoho." Twanging his cello, he said his piece accompanied by a soft melody. Everyone turned his attention to him, except Luffy who was still busy brainstorming his own haiku.

_"I miss my crewmates_  
_But now I am not alone_  
_For I have you all."_

"Brook! Waaaaahhhh," cried Franky, tears and snot falling down like a river. Chopper's eyes got watery, and Usopp was so touched that they went over and gave Brook a hug. Pretty soon even Momonosuke joined in Brook's bony embrace. Kinemon felt heartwarmed by the rare display of affection shown by his son. Robin only smiled, and Sanji gave a once-over. Looks like Luffy just smiled too, and went back thinking to what his piece would be. The ink was fast drying on the tips of the bristles at that point.

At that point, Nami, Law, and Zoro got into the room, dripping. Nami's face exhibited irritation, but it melted right off after seeing the kids hug their grandpa. "Now what is going on here?"

"Ah, Nami-swan, just exchanging haikus," came Sanji's immediate reply from the counter. Zoro and Law both removed their raincoats and hung them on the racks, Zoro taking the extra time to help Nami remove hers and hang it. As he turned around, his one eye widened in shock and his jaw dropped to the floor seeing Luffy trying hard to write something; looking at his left, even Law was doing the same thing.

"Haikus, ne," pondered Nami, putting her chin on her hands as she sat on the table. "I really haven't got one for me-"

"But Nami-swan, I shall offer one in your place!" swooned Sanji, dancing from one cooking pot to another. "Listen up, you bastards!

_"I have chased women _  
_But I will only love one _  
_Her name is Nami."_

"Is he always like that?" asked Law discreetly, leaning towards the swordsman. Zoro just grunted, not wanting to give away a precious weakness to the enemy. Sanji mellorine'd towards Nami, asking her questions like, "Nami-swan, did you like my haiku?"

"I'M DONE!" Luffy suddenly screamed, jolting about half a dozen occupants from their positions.

"Dammit Luffy, isn't there any way you can say it softly?" complained Usopp, his heart beating a hundred miles an hour.

"None, shishishi," laughed the captain. "Okay, so here's mine. I'll just read it to you.

_"I am n-now ha-ho-hungry_  
_Food, food, food, food, food, food, food_  
_Meat, Meat, Meat, Meat, Meat."_

A pregnant pause settled on the room, before Robin broke the ice. "What a wonderful haiku, as expected from my captain."

"Shishishi, I knew you'd like it, Robin," agreed Luffy, obviously impressed by his own handiwork. Usopp sauntered over and vocally expressed what Law was thinking.

"Luffy, that's just a bunch of words put together," explained the sniper. Luffy didn't agree, as he put his left hand on his hip and his right hand pointing upwards, in an uncanny imitation of Nami.

"Usopp, you really don't understand, ne," said Luffy in Nami's speech pattern, irritating the navigator. "Why don't you go over there and play with the kids- OW NAMI!" Luffy clutched the bump on his head, tears streaming from his eyes.

"You never learn, do you, idiot captain!?" screamed a fuming Nami. Brook and Usopp fell down to the floor themselves, afraid of their navigator's wrath. Another argument was going on at the counter.

"What do you mean, I can't create any haikus, huh?" sneered a pissed Zoro, leaning in forcefully on the cook.

"What I meant was, idiot," reiterated Sanji, flipping the steaks. "Your brains are made of moss, that's why you can't even formulate proper sentences correctly! What's more a haiku? Do. You. Understand?" Chopper morphed into his Heavy Point and stopped the two powerhouses from killing each other and destroying the still-cooking dinner.

The father and son tandem took a seat on the sofa beside Franky, who was still being braided by Robin's Hana Hana power. Law took a seat on the table and asked the duo something all the Strawhats ask themselves once or twice every day.

"Is it always like this in the crew?" Kinemon and Momonosuke looked at the two adults for a clear explanation. Franky and Robin just looked at each other and shrugged.

"Always."

**A/N:** I forgot when I made this.


End file.
